Meet the person God has for me to meet ...

meet • setting relationship standards before dating

• If you were building a bridge, would you start without a list of materials and costs?
• If your annual vacation started in ten days, would you just climb in the car with no planning?
• When taking a date to dinner & the Prom (or Sadie Hawkins,) would you just 'wing it?'
• If you were facilitating or teaching a Bible study, would you merely show up (unprepared?)
• If hosting a party this weekend, would you spend the rest of the week like every other week?
• To retire responsibly, would your first act be to check your balance on your 65th birthday?
• If flying to each of the 7 wonders of the world next week, would you just show up at the airport?

To all of the above, ... "Of course not. I'm not that crazy irresponsible."

It would be the height of foolishness to take on any significant project without thinking through the details, carefully planning so that each of the event's individual parts were carefully visualized and handled beforehand "like a dry run." Yet it's astonishing how many otherwise responsible people embark on one of the most important areas and decisions of their entire lives -- choosing and settling in with the person with whom they'll spend the rest of their natural lives -- with zero ... that's right, zero ... planning.

Why so much irresponsibility by so many?

An unfortunately easy answer: We're never taught otherwise! Society (even evangelical Christian society) encourages us (through passivity) to wait until we feel some sort of feelings of excitement for someone of the opposite sex, then jump into (rapidly or slowly) a relationship with no idea whatsoever what the future might hold ... for that person or for ourselves or for us as a couple. And unfortunately, blind relationship pursuit often brings the same catastrophic results as blind non-planning in any of the above-mentioned foolish pursuits.

The solution?

Planning. List out every thing you want / hope for in a partner and a relationship and everything you sense God wants for you and your relationship. The 50 Things God and I are Looking For in my Partner.

Then prioritize that list. After every date, add to it. After every relationship book you read, modify it. After every relationship skills workshop or seminar you attend, enhance and re-prioritize that list.

Wasn't it Alice in Wonderland who was asked, "Where do you want to go?" Her answer, "I really don't know." "IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU ARE GOING, ANY ROAD WILL TAKE YOU THERE," was the sage reply.

Make sure you know where you're going. THAT'S how you are most likely to end up there :)