Flaws to watch out for in Christian (or any) Internet Dating ...
1. There is no way of screening folks who join via the Internet. So those who do join may or may not be who they claim to be. There WILL be imposters (even predators?) online with Singles Of Faith.Com. Universally, 60% of the folks who use Internet dating services are lying at one or more points in their representations of themselves. The number one lie men tell: their marital status (they're not single.) The number one lie women tell: their age (or they use old pictures.) We trust that those numbers are infinitely lower for the Christian site (us,) but please keep your guard up longer than you normally would.
2. It is easy to become especially attracted to a person when communicating only via our internal messaging system (or regular e-mail, for that matter.) E-mails are highly editable (a person can ponder, erase, reconstruct, take time to think, evaluate, re-write, etc.) so you are getting only a highly edited "PART of the person." Internal messaging can help you determine whether or not you'll ever want to meet for coffee in a public place, but please do not start to "fall for someone" merely as a result of their written communication. That would be a terrible mistake. The number one cause for divorce in America is jumping into a relationship too soon (and getting married WAY too soon. You can NEVER get to know a human being in 180 days or 200 days or 300 days.) You're seeing only the tip of the tip of an iceberg.
3. ALWAYS maintain your anonymity until you are WAY beyond feeling comfortable with a person online. If they are uncomfortable with your request for privacy, you have just learned something very important about them (perhaps a very serious relationship "red flag.")
4. On the site you will see numerous tools to help you evaluate the relationship-readiness of members (and yourself!) We've found that probably 25% - 30% of single Christians are NOT ready for a relationship. They're men and women after God's heart, but many are still working through issues in life, wrestling with difficult challenges that currently have the upper hand, are socially awkward, are needy, etc. Jesus loves us all the same, but some of us are NOT ready for the responsibilities of a relationship. Use the personality tools to determine compatibility potential, and use the relationship-readiness evaluation tools to see if a person is one you want to invest your emotional energy in.
5. It's easy to be "shallow" and only look for the hunk or supermodel visually. Although chemistry / attraction is undeniably important for 90%+ of us, don't fall into the trap of being secularly shallow. Get to know the heart of the folks you'll meet online.
6. If you ever feel pressure from a member, we'd suggest, ... back off. Life offers enough pressure. We don't need to be with pushy partners.
7. Probe via questions in your internal communications. Ask them about their weaknesses and faults as well as their strengths. You'll learn much about a person when you ask them to be honest in the face of peer pressure and the desire to impress or be impressive.
8. Ask family of origin questions. We all have baggage. (Some good. Some bad.) Personality and self-image and definitions of "normal" come from early childhood. If a person is not close to their family of origin, that COULD be a red flag (not always.)
Now, in spite of the cautions, HAVE FUN! We pray constantly for you, our members and your meetings and times together. God is using Singles Of Faith and Singles Of Faith.Com spectacularly, but caution is always wise. You're not going to ruin God's plans by being too cautious. But you could ruin yours by NOT being cautious enough.
Mt 10:16 "Behold, I send you out ... be shrewd as serpents and innocent as doves.
