Christian Dating and Matchmaking

 
I. Four Compatibility Categories ...

Here are 29 issues in four different categories to be discussed (we would suggest) in great detail by partners. There are no right or wrong answers ... merely preferences / styles. We would also suggest that there is a tremendous benefit to your making a list of your expectations and your hopes in as many of these areas as possible before you start meeting folks.

Character and Constitution:

• Good Character
• Dominance vs. Submissiveness
• Curiosity
• Work Ethic
• Vitality & Security
• Intellect
• Appearance
• Sexual Passion
• Artistic Passion
• Adaptability

Personality:

• Judgementalism
• Sense of Humor
• Sociability
• Energy
• Ambition

Emotional Makeup and Skills:

• Emotional Health
• Anger Management
• Quality of Self Concept
• Mood Management Skills
• Communication Skills
• Conflict Resolution Skills
• Kindness
• Autonomy vs. Closeness

Family and Values:

• Feelings About Children
• Family Background
• Education
• Faith
• Traditionalism
• Values Orientation

II. And Nine Partner Evaluation Factors ...

Again, a relationship, like any other journey, benefits from having a written map, a plan ... that prevents our going down the wrong roads.

Self-Concept ...

A feeling of self-strength that provides a strong foundation for building a life in partnership despite difficult circumstances and situations.

Absense of Emotional Red Flags ...

No addictions, no neuroses, no thought disorders and no affective disorders.

Anger Management ...

Astonishing numbers of marriages fail each year because two people do not know how to manage their anger in relation to each other.

Absense of a Critical Spirit ...

A critical attitude can become a constant source of relationship stress. This includes tendencies to find fault and attribute blame.

Expectations About Family ...

If one person has a strong desire to be a parent and the other has none, it's likely to be a poor match.

Family Background ...

If one or both persons grew up in a dysfunctional atmosphere, there needs to be adequate evidence that the emotional impact has been recognized and worked through.

Intellect ...

There is significant evidence that two people in a relationship need to be at a similar intellectual level, whatever that may be..

Energy ...

Relationships are more likely to be successful if both partners share a desire for a similar activity level.

Faith ...

Perhaps there is no dimension more in need of matching for a couple, many would claim. Even similar denominational preference reduces the likelyhood of future conflict or preference divergence. Buddhists ought to date Buddhists, Muslims ought to date Muslims, Notional Christians ought to date notional Christians, evangelicals ought to date evangelicals, and atheists ought to date atheists, most psychologists would agree.