"A recent study indicates that marital success or failure can now be predicted before the wedding day with 81 percent accuracy." - Finding the Love of Your Life

1. The Decision to get Married Is Made Too Quickly.

Human beings are incredibly complex creatures. Think about how many "rooms" and "closets" exist in your life. It is physically impossible to get to know a human being within 180 days. (Can you even get to know a PET in that period of time?) A couple who think they can predict the success of 50 - 75 years together within a few months are most often merely being foolish. Romantic idealism and overspiritualization are two of the most common problems christian couples face.

2. The Decision Is Made at Too Young an Age.

The divorce rate for couples under 20 is incredibly high. The divorce rates for 21- and 22-year-olds is twice as high as it is for 24- and 25-year-olds. Divorce rates are lowest for both men and women who marry for the first time at age 28 or later.

3. One or Both Persons Are Too Eager to Be Married.

Sometimes a partner gets worried that their partner might have a change of heart. They may be sick and tired of being alone nights and weekends. They may be bowing to peer pressure. Overeagerness os often associated with the deep and powerful excitement that bubbles up around impending marriage. A lifetime decision like marriage requires a clear, unhurried mind.

4. One or Both May Be Choosing a Mate to Please Someone Else.

Parental advice and peer pressure can be incredibly strong. But it's not parents or peers who are entering into a 50- or 75-year marriage commitment. Always LISTEN to the input, feedback and perspectives of those whom you trust, but make your own decisions. And never go through with a wedding just because you don't want your partner to not be hurt. The pain over the next 50- to 75-years may be hundreds of times worse.

5. The Experience Base Is Too Narrow.

"Many couples have not walked together through the variety of circumstances and situations necessary to know someone." Couples who have never had an argument, for example, have no idea whether they have the joint skills to successfully make it through the inevitable conflicts ahead. People who are "in love" often don't want to be bothered with talk of problems. The more experiences a couple has together, the better their chances of avoiding hidden surprises.

6. The Couple Has Unrealistic Expectations.

Life is difficult, and it is twice as difficult for two people. Couples can become caught in a "bliss trap," according to John Weellwood. Couples need to know that they are going to face real difficulties significant pain and and enormous resulting stress. If they truly know that that is inevitable, they have a significantly better chance of dealing. Couples need to be aware of what they are getting into.

7. One or Both May Have Unaddressed Significant Personality or Behavior Problems.

Jealousy, temper, irresponsibility, dishonesty, stubbornness -- Are you willing to live with these for the rest of your life? Those disorders took years to establish. They'll not dissolve without extensive work and time. Get extensive premarital counseling together and separately or suffer the likely consequences.